even after i decided to move on, i'm still trying to do my very best to hold back my feelings, to forget and to feel nothing at all. even now, during the depth of the night, his face and his scent linger in my memory. he is still with me. his memories are still bugging and haunting me.
days go on normally but i cant go any further with my normal self. i'm still deeply hurt and i still am bleeding. i still long for him, still look for him in every corner. i still think of him and imagine doing things i could probably have done with him. he's still with me. his memories still linger on.
how can this be so hard for me to move on, and so easy for him to take me for granted? how can this be so difficult for me to wake up every morning, trying not to think of him the moment i open my eyes? how can i still feel this way even after saying goodbye? how can i still have hopes when everything else has ended? and how can i still love him even after all the tears i've cried?
damn it! so unfair! so imbalance!
i am left here hanging, still hoping for something that's far from possibility. i am still here, still stranded, waiting for the bus that will never give me a ride. i am still here wishing that he could be mine when i know he couldnt really be.
how pathetic! how foolish!
hopeless romantic. pathetic dreamer.
i hope to give my heart an ease. i hope to make it breathe. i hope to make it happy. i wish it has not loved you deeply.
i wonder if you think of me. i wonder if you remember. i wonder if you know how much i've cried for you, to ease the pain, to let it go.
i want to move on, but i'm still stranded. i want to laugh, but tears roll down. i want to dream being with you, but fear and pain hold me back.
fear. depression. regrets. happiness. sadness. anticipation. pain. excitement. cowardice. confidence. all mixed up but i ended up with one: HEARTACHE.
No comments:
Post a Comment
thanks for leaving some comment